‘In these circumstances it’s worth telling yourself that you’re only human and cannot make everything perfect.’
My name is Tabatha and I have been a foster carer for 6 years.
The young people I have been privileged to meet have often been hugely affected by their life experiences and just want to feel safe. It is fascinating to see what they develop into when you assist them to find their voice! The results may not always be what you like, as they normally need to work through a lot of anger.
Since working for the Compass Group, I have provided a long term home for two sets of siblings, have offered respite for various young people and have supported two young people who were not in main stream schooling to return.
We are proud to be foster carers!
Monday 29th December
Christmas Day was a very odd affair for us this year, with my mum staying in the very posh shed with under floor heating and double glazing at the bottom of the garden, the 16 year old not really liking the gifts from her previous carer and the 8 year old loving the presents and the bike.
By the time we sat down to our meal the festive spirits were over flowing and we felt very pleased with ourselves that it was working. I guess we smiled too soon; the oldest somehow managed to drop the mirror off its hook behind the cupboard and shatter the plug off the wall. Not satisfied with that she then put her fingers in the live wires and electrocuted herself, thank goodness it was only mild!
So my evening was spent moving furniture for the 16 year old, re-hanging a mirror and mending the plug so she could watch her new TV. She was furious with me for her situation and I felt she was immensely disappointed. It’s only after the event when you have time to reflect that she is probably missing her old carer and her Birth family. At bedtime the 8 year old gave me a huge hug at and told me that it was the best Christmas she had ever had. I would love to get to the point where the older child is able to express herself more.
In these circumstances it’s worth telling yourself that you’re only human and cannot make everything perfect. Most families have issues like these and when you reach out to a young person every little action you take is meaningful. What is most important is that we keep developing our skills and offering a stable place to the young people. When I feel like this it’s good to talk to my supervising social worker, she has a really good way of making me see all sides and reminding me of the progress that both children are making. I’m really glad I invested the time into getting to know her as she always has my best interests at heart.
I go to bed smiling on Christmas Day and feeling that fostering is the best job in the world.
You can read the previous entry in this series here.