Posts tagged as: Fostering Advice

How to Prepare For Your First Day With Your Foster Child

You’ve done all the paperwork, you’ve passed the assessment, gone through the training, and planned the million and one things you want to be ready – and then the call comes: there’s a foster child that needs you!

What do you do next? In this article, we take you through everything you need to know to feel confident saying ‘yes!’ the moment that call comes in.

What to buy for foster care

Having a foster child in your home means that you will have more mouths to feed, and more minds to entertain! Stock up on pantry staples, as well as age-appropriate games and films – but be aware that you may not know your foster child’s age or interests until very close to their arrival.

It’s also a good idea to stock up on essential medicines and first aid supplies: a thermometer, lice treatments, fever reducing medicine, painkillers, plasters, etc.

Prepare your foster child’s space

Get the bedroom organised for a new arrival – see our article for six tips on preparing a bedroom for your foster child.

Don’t forget to include essential toiletries, like a toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner. It’s also a good idea to have a small selection of clothing basics in various sizes, and some spare towels.

For a first time foster parent, nerves are understandable but it's important to not let this show in front of your new foster child.

Don’t forget safety!

Consider the age of your foster child – do you need to do any baby-proofing or rearranging of furniture and other household items? Lock away valuables, chemicals, medicines, and don’t forget common household items that could be dangerous, like cleaning products and hair dye. Number padlocks are handy as you can’t lose the keys!

Time to get things in order

Have a good tidy up to clear away clutter, and pack away any items that you wouldn’t want to get broken or go missing. Remember that foster children come from difficult backgrounds and may be prone to acting out, so tucking these items away will help keep them safe.

The fostering standards guidelines state that homes must be warm, be adequately furnished and is maintained to a good standard of cleanliness. Look at your living space with fresh eyes: is there room for everyone in your household to gather comfortably? Is the space welcoming and homely? Will your foster child have room to play and relax?

Get the family ready

Gather the other members of your household e.g. your partner, children, or lodgers and discuss what to expect and how you plan to handle common situations, like privacy, bathroom sharing or meal schedules. You’ll have had discussions like these throughout your assessment, but it’s good to go over expectations once more before your foster child arrives.

When preparing for your first foster placement, it’s important to remember that whilst it might be exciting for you, it’s a scary time for the child! With patience, kindness and showing that you offer safety, a wonderful relationship will begin to evolve.

Get in touch to find out more about fostering with Compass Fostering.


Saying Goodbye: Dealing With Parental Separation Anxiety as a Foster Parent

You’re likely familiar with the separation anxiety many children show when leaving their parents or carers, but those feelings can also affect caregivers themselves.

Parental separation anxiety typically occurs in families when a child goes to nursery, starts school, or spends time away from home. For foster parents, it can also be part of the difficult process of saying goodbye to a foster child leaving your care.

If you think you might be struggling with parental separation anxiety, you’re not alone and there’s lots you can do to help yourself cope.

Causes of parental separation anxiety in foster carers

With foster care, the legal responsibility for the child remains with the local authority – which means that sometimes their care situation can change very quickly. On occasion, a child will need to move or return to their birth family, or a child might be old enough to begin the process of leaving care and living on their own. When moving on is in the child’s best interest – whatever the reason – the child’s needs will always come first.

For foster parents with very young foster children, starting school and spending more time outside the home can also create difficult periods of adjustment for both parent and child.

Parental separation anxiety in parents and carers can be tough to handle, so finding the right support will be crucial. Compass are here to help you navigate saying goodbye.

All these situations can trigger feelings of deep anxiety in parents, known as parental separation anxiety. Symptoms include:

  • Low mood
  • Anxiety or panic
  • Depression or sadness
  • Catastrophic thinking
  • Excessive worrying
  • Anger

What you can do to combat your separation anxiety:

  • Stay busy. When your child leaves to begin school, keep yourself distracted by focusing on things you enjoy doing to help pass the time until they return.
  • Reach out for support. This is why your social worker is there – if you need help, pick up the phone and a supportive voice will be on the other end.
  • Try not to pass your anxiety on to your child. As hard as the separation is for you, do your best not to let your fears create anxiety for your child. The transition should be as fun and positive as possible for your child, whether it’s starting school or moving on to a new home.
  • Give yourself space to feel your feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel – allow yourself time to feel upset if you need to.
  • Practice relaxation techniques. These can help keep you calm when feelings of anxiety and fear come up.
  • Where possible, stay in touch. Sometimes when foster children leave care, they remain close with their former foster parents – it’s at the discretion of the child’s social worker, as their best interests will always be top of mind.

Making ‘goodbye’ a joyful experience

As hard as it is to say goodbye to a child you love, the moment of goodbye will be a memory that you can both hold on to forever – especially when it’s a long-term goodbye.

Try to make it a joyful experience that celebrates your child’s accomplishments and gets them excited about the next step – whatever it might be. Make a scrapbook of your memories together to help both of you remember the time you spent together. Try to be grateful for the time, and let your child know that you love and believe in them.

To find out more about the support Compass Fostering offers to foster carers, please get in touch and our friendly team will answer any questions you might have.


Mother & Baby Fostering: Welcoming a Teenage Mum Into Your Home

Having a new baby is stressful for any parent, but can be full of difficulties for teenage mums in unsafe situations or who are struggling to take care of themselves.

Sometimes, when these tough situations come up, fostering teenage mums can give a new mum the support she needs to become a confident and capable parent – like Jen, who came to her foster family with her baby.

“Living with Rehana and Peter has made me gain confidence and helped me become a better parent than I was in the past,” Jen says. “I’ve gained a lot of confidence and can be ‘Mum’. It’s given me and my child a better life.”

Why teenage mothers go into foster care

Parent and child fostering happens when a new mother (or sometimes father) isn’t able to care for their new baby on their own. Abusive relationships, a history of drug abuse, or having been unable to care for previous children can all result in a mother going into foster care with her child.

The need for parent and child fostering has grown since 2002, when a European Court of Human Rights ruled that taking a baby from a mother at birth is extremely harsh and detrimental to both child and mother. At Compass Fostering, 59% of parents in foster care with their babies are under the age of 24.

Mums can join a foster family straight from the hospital with their newborn, or can arrive before the birth or a little while after. While many are teenagers, mothers in this situation can range in age – the common factor is that they aren’t capable of caring for a baby, and some may not even be capable of caring for themselves. Learning difficulties, mental health problems and a lack of support can all contribute to a mother being unable to cope on her own.

Fostering teenage mums will be challenging, and it will take a lot of paperwork! The rewards gained from this type of foster care are incredible.

Supporting mum and baby for the future

The goal of fostering young mothers and babies is to support a mum in learning how to parent and care for her baby. Being in a foster care situation can help teen mothers grow into confident and capable parents.

Mother and baby fostering helps new mothers learn skills such as:

  • Caring for a baby, including feeding, sleeping and bathing
  • Household skills like cooking and cleaning
  • Budgeting and planning for the future
  • Managing social situations like toddler groups
  • Navigating clinic and health appointments and other meetings

Mother and baby fostering payments

As a parent and child carer you will receive higher allowance than you would for a standard placement – somes as must as 1.5 times higher!

Who can care for a mother and baby?

Mother and baby carers are typically experienced foster carers, as these situations require lots of skill, patience and confidence. Compass provides specialised training to help carers prepare to welcome a parent and new baby into their home. Unfortunately, some mums may not feel able to stay with their baby, so carers also need to be able to take on the care of the baby themselves, if it comes to that.

A key part of being a parent and child foster carer is keeping detailed daily records of how the mum is doing and how well she can look after her child. These records will be used to help determine the mum’s ability to look after her child on her own, and may be used in court or to support future decisions about the wellbeing of the baby.

A mother and baby foster placement is one very important way that foster carers can help set families up for a good start in life, and break poor parenting patterns that may go back decades. Time in foster care with her baby prepares a new mum to create a safe and supportive environment for her child and start a new cycle for future generations.

If you’re interested in fostering a child, or fostering teenage mothers, please get in touch to learn about the support we offer our foster carers at Compass Fostering.


Fostering Siblings: When Can Foster Children Share Bedrooms?

If you’re interested in becoming a foster carer, you might be wondering if foster children can share bedrooms. While foster children usually need their own room, there is one potential exception: same-sex foster siblings.

Read on to learn more about why foster children need their own space, and when and how foster siblings can share a room.

Why foster children need their own room

Having a space of their own is important for all foster children. They need a place to feel safe and secure, and where they can retreat when a new situation or environment becomes overwhelming.

Children often come into the foster care system having experienced trauma, such as abuse or neglect, and will be further stressed by having to deal with a new environment and being removed from their family. The same as any of us in stressful times, they need space of their own to process their feelings.

Having their own room gives a foster child a place to be alone – and, unlike locations outside the home, you can be close at hand to offer support and reassurance. Having separate rooms will also help mitigate sibling rivalry and conflict with other children in the home.

When foster siblings can share

It depends on the local authority, but it comes down to what will be the least disruptive for the children. If two young siblings have always shared a room, it may well be better for them to continue doing so in a new house.

Such was the case for the sibling group who came to foster carers Deborah and Brian: two twin sisters aged 7 and a third sister aged 3. “Before they came to live with us, they were used to all three of them sharing a bedroom,” says Deborah.

Now the twins share a room with bunk beds, while the youngest has her own space. “The older girls love the fact that their little sister isn’t in their room with them and she loves it that she has her own room, so everyone is happy.”

In order to share a room, siblings must be the same sex, and most local authorities will only allow sharing up to a certain age (usually around 9 to 11).

Housing requirements for foster children

According to the UK Minimum Standards for Fostering, a foster home must be able to comfortably accommodate all who live there – this means that communal spaces need to be big enough for the whole family to live comfortably. Each child over the age of three (including birth children) should have their own bedroom, or if that’s not possible, each child sharing a room must have their own area within the bedroom.

At Compass Fostering, we only allow room sharing for foster siblings in special circumstances – meaning that all our carers need to have a spare room before they can start fostering.

Having foster children in the home

“Being three girls in the house, they have a lot of toys and clothes and everything,” says Deborah about her foster children. “They’re good girls and they tidy up, so it’s not as bad as it could be.”

“And wow, they have changed our lives! They’ve filled our house and lives with fun, laughter, cuddles and drama, and given us insight into the world through their eyes, which is full of resilience, hope, joy and finding fun in everything they do.”

If you have a spare room and love to offer a foster child, please get in touch to find out more about becoming part of the Compass Fostering family.


Make Memories Together: Travelling Internationally with Foster Children

When you bring a foster child into your home, they’ll quickly become part of your family – and you’ll want them to share in all your family activities, including holidays! We encourage our foster families to include foster children in travel plans, but there are a few things to consider first.

Here’s what you need to know about travelling – locally or internationally – with your foster child.

Being part of the family

Foster children are part of your family, and a holiday is a great opportunity for the entire family to make fun memories together. Travel can open children up to new experiences and activities they otherwise might not get the chance to try.

For foster families, travelling to new spots also helps put everyone on the same level – after all, your foster child may sometimes feel like an outsider, but in a strange place the whole family is in the same boat.

Get the right documents together

When travelling with foster children additional paperwork can be involved, so allow time for the planning stage. Many foster children don’t have passports, which means that international travel will require a little advance preparation.

For any holiday, you’ll also need to get agreement from the local authority social worker and put together a risk assessment. We’re here to help you with the paperwork, so don’t worry. A risk assessment is simply a document that shows you’ve thought about all the potential risks that any parent would think about for their children – foster carers just need to put it into writing.

For example, you’ll need to set out plans for how you’ll manage disagreements, privacy in bedrooms and bathrooms, and outline rules for play (such as in the pool or on a hotel balcony). With older children you might also decide how and if they’ll be allowed to go out alone, and set out rules for using mobile phones, etc.

Going on holiday doesn't mean you have to travel internationally, there's lots of fun places to visit in the UK!

Prepare your foster child to travel

Help your foster child enjoy the trip by preparing them in advance for the realities of international travel. If they’ve never been on a plane or boat before, run through what to expect. Talk to them about the different cultures and social behaviours they might see, and the local language and foods. A new place can be challenging but preparing in advance and discussing coping strategies can help your child enjoy the experience.

Consider prepping the family by watching movies set in your destination country, or going out to a restaurant or preparing a meal similar to what you might be eating. For example, if you’re off to Spain you might enjoy a tapas meal and watch Ferdinand. It will get the family excited about the trip and introduce some foreign ideas in a safe environment.

Alternatives to international travel

If your foster child doesn’t have a passport yet, don’t worry – there are plenty of great options for holidays that don’t require a passport.

Compass foster carer Alison found that out when her family began caring for new foster child. Because he didn’t have a passport, they weren’t able to take their planned international holiday to Greece and instead wound up on a camping trip to Centre Parcs.

“It was by far absolutely the best family holiday we’ve ever had,” she says. “We laughed, sang, flew kites, blew bubbles, ate huge ice creams, rode mini trains, swam in the sea, visited animal sanctuaries, dinosaur museums and a pile of other things that we haven’t done in years and every one of us enjoyed them.”

Here are a few UK-based holidays to consider:
The Channel Islands or The Isle of Wight: These beautiful seaside spots involve either a ferry ride or a flight, which can make them feel like a big trip. Visit in the summer for seaside fun, or in the cooler months for lovely hillside walks and cute local villages.
Scotland or Wales: Both have lots to offer by way of natural beauty and cultural heritage.
Norfolk Broads: Fancy a holiday on the water? Consider hiring a barge and exploring the waterways of Norfolk.
Seaside Caravan Parks: Dotted across the UK’s seaside, caravan parks are a great option for families who want an affordable getaway. They have a lot to offer a family, including swimming, fishing, crazy golf, and more. Foster parents will just need to be careful about planning accommodation to make sure your foster child gets their own room.

No matter the destination, travelling together as a family is a sure-fire way to encourage bonding by having fun together trying new things.

If your family has the space and love to give a foster child, please get in touch to learn more. Our friendly staff are on hand to support you every step of the way.


Foster Child Age Ranges: What to Expect (and Can You Pick?)

There are a lot of questions to consider when deciding to become a foster carer, but none more important than how a foster child will fit into your family – which might leave you wondering what to expect from foster children of different ages.

It’s important to know that you won’t be able to pick the age of your foster child, but you will be able to register a preference. After all, fostering is a matching process and how a child fits into your family is something you will discuss at length with your family-finding team during your assessment, and that includes considering foster child ages.

Whether you have an idea what age of child you’d like to look after, or you’re not sure what to expect from different stages of childhood, here are some things to keep in mind.

The nuts and bolts of foster home selection

When our assessment team approves a new foster carer, we approve them for 0-18 years. That means that you could receive a referral for a child of any age.

However, we are committed to finding the best home for each child, and there are many factors that go into deciding where a child will live. Your preference will matter, and we will never insist on a placement unless both sides feel it’s right.

What are children like at different ages?

Many potential fosters carers think they will prefer young children, or even babies – but every age group has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Ages 0-5
Children this young can be very sweet, and might suit young foster carers whose friends and family have similar-aged children – but infants and toddlers are also a lot of work. They aren’t in school, which means you will need to be home all the time, and some foster children in this age group may be behind in their development and will need extra help to thrive.

All children are different and it's important to consider that some children's development age may not match their age in years.

Ages 5-12
Children this age are in school, which makes for an easier schedule for some foster carers to manage. They are starting to become independent and are old enough to have a sense of self, but are at the wonderful stage where they are learning about the world. Foster children in this age group can also be behind in their development and might need more support and patience to help them succeed.

Ages 13+
Teenagers are much more independent than younger children. They spend more time at school and in after-school activities, and have a more strongly developed sense of self. They tend to have better communication skills, and are at the stage of life where their achievements can be really significant and rewarding. They are also old enough to remember their time with you– and many fostered teens maintain lifelong relationships with their foster parents. However, teenagers in care may have built up harmful coping mechanisms that require patience and persistence to overcome.

What’s right for your family?

Each foster family is unique, and that’s why every home is considered based on the needs of both the individual child and the specific family. Some foster carers with young children prefer a child of similar age because they can share in activities and interests, while another carer with young children might prefer an older child who can bring a different energy into the home – it really does vary!

Think about what’s best for your family, and try not to make too many assumptions about foster child ages. While some foster carers are open to children of any age, the majority of carers stick with the same age group once they’ve found what works for them.

What’s right for the foster child?

Our family finding team will always keep a child’s best interest at the centre of their decision. They’ll consider the child’s background, including where they’ve lived in the past and what kind of households they may be used to, as well as what’s available in your area, such as schools and other amenities.

At the end of the day, the team will look for the home that will give the child the best chance at fitting in and getting the support they need to thrive.
What about boy or girl?

If you’re wondering about picking the sex of your foster child, the same principles apply – you can register a preference, but as with age, it’s about what’s best for the child.

Every family is different – one family with all girls might prefer not to have a boy entering the house, while another might be ready to bring some male energy in the home. No matter what, you can trust that our team will find the best fit possible for every foster child and foster family.

With Compass Fostering, we keep the best interests of our foster children and our foster families at the front of our minds when deciding where a child should go, and we’ll support you every step of the way. Get in touch to find out more about our assessment process.


What are the Realities of Working and Foster Parenting?

‘Can you work and foster?’ Is a popular question, but the reality about working and becoming a foster parent isn’t always straightforward. Many foster carers dedicate themselves to fostering full-time, while others continue to work. There’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to working and fostering, but there are some important considerations to take into account when you’re deciding to become a foster carer.

As with most decisions regarding foster care, the best interests of the child and the foster family need to be kept front of mind.

Putting the child’s best interests first

Children in foster care often come from unstable backgrounds where they’ve experienced abuse or neglect. The chance to give a child the safe and stable home they deserve is one of the great joys of becoming a foster carer – and to do that, you must be able to provide consistent care.

The most important element to consider is the child’s wellbeing. To give foster children the best chance, young children can’t be in full-time day-care, and school-aged children shouldn’t spend their morning and afternoons in preschool and after school care. There are exceptions, of course, such as older children who are in homework clubs or sports clubs – it all depends on what’s appropriate for the child.

A foster carer’s ability to meet the needs of a foster child is considered during the assessment process. Our family finding team will work with you to find the best solution for your family, but it’s important to consider your availability first.

If you work, flexibility is essential

Foster carers need to be able to drop their child off at school in the morning and be there to pick them at the end of the school day. They need to be able to stay home if their child is ill, and accommodate school holidays and days off.

That need for flexibility if you have a job is the main reason why many foster carers don’t work full time – but there are exceptions. Some work environments are adaptable enough to offer carers a flexible schedule, such as freelancers and contractors who make their own hours and can change plans at short notice. Other carers have readily available support networks that can step in when needed, like actively involved parents who live nearby.

Working full time and fostering can be tricky, but if you have the right support network in place, this can be a lot easier.

Have a plan

If you join the Compass Fostering family, it’s important to consider your situation carefully to figure out how you’d meet the needs of your foster child. If you want to continue working, plan ahead for inevitable situation.

Review plans for school pick up and drop off, and figure out how your child will be looked after when they’re ill or off school. Identify your support network and have clear contingency plans in place. All these concerns will be covered in your assessment, so it’s best to have an idea of how you’d manage them ahead of time.

Foster parent support

At Compass Fostering, we support our carers financially with a fostering allowance and benefits. In fact, many of our carers foster full time thanks to our allowance, which covers the day-to-day costs of looking after a child as well as a professional fostering fee, and generous tax breaks.

We also support foster parents professionally by giving carers the opportunity to build careers in fostering.

The professional positions available with Compass include ambassadors and educators:

  • Carer Support Ambassadors support foster carers in different localities, helping them with specific needs identified by the social work team, such as transport or IT.
  • Educational Ambassadors support educational outcomes for foster children by giving advice, offering coaching and mentoring, and attending meetings as representatives for foster carers and children.
  • Experiential Educators work mostly on a one to one basis with children in care who are unable to attend school. They teach skills like cooking and lead experiential activities that encourage independence.Language Ambassadors work with children and carers whose first language is not English, including children seeking asylum or disabled children who use other forms of communication such as British Sign Language or Makaton.
  • Recruitment Ambassadors are the face of the Compass Fostering family! They attend events to talk to people about fostering, distribute flyers and attend meetings with our recruitment team. They help spread the word about fostering so we can find a home for every child who needs one.

Every foster parent’s situation is different, and every foster child’s needs are unique. Some foster carers work, while many others don’t. No matter your situation, our recruitment and family finding teams will always consider what’s best for each individual child and each foster family.

If want to know more about can you work and be a foster carer with Compass Fostering, please get in touch to request an information pack.


What Age Does Foster Care Stop?

For any young person leaving home to live on their own for the first time, the experience can be a bit overwhelming – and it can be more challenging for young people who don’t have a close family support network, like teens in foster care. That’s why the government and Compass Fostering step in to help during that difficult transition period.

From the age of 16, the young person and the local authority, their foster carers and Compass Fostering (or other fostering agency) will work together to build a plan to successfully leave care and start looking after themselves. While a child in foster care only remains the responsibility of the government until they turn 18, they can keep accessing support up to the age of 25.

How long do kids stay in foster care

The UK government also offers clear guidance for how a young person will leave care. Here’s what happens at each age:

16-17 Years Old

A ‘Pathway Plan’ is created to help the young person prepare for leaving care. It’s best for care leavers not to go straight from a foster home to living independently, so several options are considered to ease the transition, including returning to the family home, staying with their foster carers for longer, or moving to supported housing.

18 Years Old

The UK government is legally responsible for making sure the young person has a place to live and enough money until they turn 18, but the care leaver will also have a support team that includes their foster carers, their social worker, and a personal adviser (a role sometimes filled by the foster carers themselves).

In some cases, the young person can stay with their foster family until the age of 21, or 25 if they are in an educational or training programme. This scheme, called ‘Staying Put’ in the UK, or ‘When I Am Ready’ in Wales, helps the young person develop the skills they need to transition into adulthood.

Before leaving care, the young person will have a review meeting to discuss housing, working or continuing their education, and what kind of support they’ll receive.

21 Years Onwards

A young person can continue to get help and advice from the council and their personal adviser up until the age of 25 if they choose.

A bit more about the Pathway Plan

The Pathway Plan is a very valuable tool for making sure that a young care leaver has the support to start living a happy and healthy independent life.

It should include:

  • The assistance to be provided to the young person and by whom
  • Details of accommodation
  • A detailed plan for education or training
  • How the responsible authority will assist in developing and maintaining family and social relationships
  • A programme to develop practical skills for living independently
  • Employment assistance
  • Financial help
  • Any health needs and how they will be met
  • Contingency plans should the pathway stop working

What age can you leave foster care? It depends on each individual person's situation. Legally, 18 is when you are considered an adult. Find out more about the support available.

More help for care leavers

After a young person has left foster care, they still have access to a range of support options, including the following charities and networks:
Become supports care leavers with advice and resources
Shelter offers care leavers help with housing
Catch 22 gives guidance to looked-after children and care leavers
The Rees Foundation offers ongoing support to care leavers for as long as they need

Leaving foster care involves a number of challenges, but it can be a very rewarding experience for foster carers to watch a young person develop the skills and confidence to live independently and start succeeding on their own.

Want to find out more about what age can you leave foster care? If want to know more about being a foster carer or you’re interested in joining the fostering family with Compass Fostering, please get in touch to request an information pack.


Being a Teenager is Hard, But Fostering One is Totally Worth it

A lot of the young people in our care at Compass Fostering are teenagers. Unfortunately, some people think teenagers will be difficult, distant, or troublemakers – but often the relationships between teens and their foster carers are some of the strongest and most rewarding we see.

“We love fostering,” say two of our foster carers, Mark and Nick. “We get to watch these teenagers achieve things they never thought they could. We give them the chance to blossom and be who they want to be.”

In fact, because of their age, teens will remember their time with you forever. Mark and Nick’s first teen foster, Luke, came to them at 16 – and is still with them 7 years later as part of a Staying Put placement.

“Probably within the first week of Luke living with us, we knew we wanted him to stay for a long time,” they say. “The comfort was there straight away, and we knew this would be a lifelong relationship. He was just 16 years late coming to us.”

Here are a few helpful tips for bringing a teenager into your home.

Take a child-centred approach

When you prepare to welcome a foster child, you’ll be given important information about their background. Be mindful that a teenager in care may have been exposed to some dangerous and upsetting circumstances, such as drug and alcohol abuse, violence, or sexual exploitation.

Be prepared. Learn everything you can about their history, and seek any training or support you need to meet their needs. You can read more about the support we give our foster carers here.

Give them privacy

Privacy is important for any teenager – and it’s a two-way street. Give them their privacy, and teach them to respect yours. Knock before entering their room, and don’t go through their personal stuff. At this stage in life, children are learning to become independent and it’s important that you support that.

“We keep on top of internet usage, but we don’t go snooping,” say Mark and Nick, “we just make sure they’re using safe sites. Prying is only going to make a teenager want you to butt out completely.”

It’s also important to keep an eye out for their safety. Talk to your supervising social worker to know what signs to look out for.

Accept them as they are

This stage in life can be confusing for some teens who are struggling with self-acceptance. When Luke came to stay with Mark and Nick, he was grappling with his own identity.

“We could see that he needed us,” says Nick. “When our social worker asked me why I wanted to foster, I said it was because I would love to be able to help a teenage boy come to terms with his identity, or sexuality, because I remember as a kid how I struggled. And then we got the call for Luke.”

The teenage years are a stressful time for every child, so it’s important that your foster child knows you accept them. Teens can have a lot of opinions, so listen to what they have to say. Show them you’re paying attention by incorporating their likes into your routines.

Be resilient

Fostering teenagers won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it! Your care can offer a safe and secure environment for a vulnerable teenager at a crucial moment in their development. Be resilient, and don’t take anything personally. The most important thing you can do for them is stick around.

“Luke had a voice, but he wouldn’t use it,” say Mark and Nick. “He had all sorts of social workers that he could go to, but he wouldn’t unless he was talking to people that he trusted. At that time, we were his only way to get through the rubbish that he went through.”
“We supported him 100% through that. And we even said that if his time with us didn’t work out or it ended, we would always be there for him, no matter what.”

If you think you have what it takes to be a foster parent and foster teenagers, please get in touch. We’d love to welcome you into the Compass Fostering family.


Be a Good Foster Parent With Our 5-step Approach

Our foster carers come from all sorts of backgrounds and bring their own unique strengths and abilities to the fostering experience. At Compass Fostering, we focus on building the strengths of our carers through the REACH approach.

Underpinned by positive psychology, REACH is unique to Compass Fostering and supports both carers and children in making the most of fostering.

The REACH Approach

Resilience

Children in care often come from unstable backgrounds, and the ability of foster carers and workers to stick with it despite the challenges that come up is really important in helping a child feel secure.

That’s why we support every carer to build your strengths and develop true resilience. You’ll learn how to bounce back when things go wrong and nurture a connection with your foster child that will last through the good and the bad.

One of our foster carers, Alison, learnt the value of resilience when her family of five accepted a foster child into their home for the first time. “Nothing could have prepared me for the little boy of just four years old who came to live with us,” she says.

“He was broken, vacant and presented worrying behaviours and we have all, including him, worked so very, very hard to find the beautiful, bright, clever and funny boy that now lives with us. We love him dearly.”

You can read more about Alison’s experience – both the challenges and the rewards – in this post.

Education of carers

Changing the mind and behaviour of a child begins in the mind of their caregivers. Our training explores how attachments are formed and gives you actionable tools and approaches based on positive psychology.

You’ll become better equipped to meet the needs of your foster children and help them develop positive and secure attachments. Approach the process with a willingness to learn and you might be surprised how much you and your foster child can achieve!

Acceptance

Young people in care often have low self-esteem – but the acceptance and appreciation a foster child gets from their carer can make a huge difference in their ability to accept themselves.
Our training will help you build your child’s self-esteem, provide creative opportunities for your child to accept themselves, and guide you and your foster children in building ‘happy habits’.

Child-centred

Empathy is a vital quality for foster carers, and our child-centred approach encourages it. You’ll discover how to put your child’s needs front and centre and manage your own feelings to give your child a positive model of emotional literacy.

To support this process, there’s plenty of ongoing peer supervision and support from psychologists too.

Holistic

We want the children in care with Compass Fostering to feel a part of their birth family, their foster family and their community. That’s why we take a holistic approach to build a sense of belonging that will help the child accept who they are.

When you foster with Compass, you and your foster child will join a supportive and close-knit community. Through group activities and social events, you’ll both build meaningful relationships that last.

Our wrap-around service helps you support your foster child in accepting themselves and managing complex relationships in the short and long term – ultimately setting them up for success.

If the approach outlined above sounds like it could work for you, there are a few requirements you must meet in order to qualify as a carer, like having a spare bedroom. To find out more about what it takes to become a foster carer, please get in touch.


6 Welcoming Foster Bedroom Ideas

Bringing a new foster child into your home is an exciting time for the whole family. You may not know exactly what to expect, but you want to make them feel as welcome as possible.

To help things go smoothly, follow our top foster child bedroom ideas!
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The UK National Standards for Foster Care

If you’re interested in fostering a child, you might be wondering about the UK National Standards for foster care. These are set out by the UK government, and give important guidance for fostering services, local authorities and foster carers.

They may seem complicated, but don’t worry – the concepts underpinning them are simple to understand, and if you decide to foster with Compass Fostering, we will guide you every step of the way.
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Fostering children with special needs can be truly rewarding – if you have the right tools

As a foster carer, you’ll come across children with many kinds of special needs, ranging from learning disabilities to cognitive and physical ones. Many diagnoses require specific attention, but a few principles of care form a good foundation to help meet the unique challenges of caring for young people with special needs.

If you’re considering fostering a child with special needs, or if a child in your care has recently been diagnosed with special needs, here’s how you can support their development:
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What Disqualifies You From Being a Foster Parent?

There is an ever-growing demand for foster families in the UK, for every child people think is in foster care, there are actually two. With an increasing need for foster parents, and seriously underestimated numbers when it comes to foster care, it is vital that children are given the safe and stable home they deserve.
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Foster Carer Tax Return, Exemptions & Allowances

For many, filling out tax forms can be a puzzling time. Endless numbers, phrases and thresholds can quickly turn a simple task into a chore. We know that tax can be a tricky territory to navigate, so we’ve prepared a guide to help you better understand foster carer tax returns.

Foster carers are required to follow specific tax guidelines and are entitled to unique tax allowances that help reduce their overall tax bills. Whether you are a new carer, a seasoned carer or are thinking about fostering and how your earnings will affect you, this guide will help you get to grips with foster carer taxes.
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Can You Foster If You Smoke?

A common misconception surrounding fostering is you won’t be allowed to foster if you smoke. As a children’s protection service, Compass are dedicated to ensuring all the young people in our care are provided with the highest quality of support; ensuring that they can lead healthy lives. If you are a smoker, you are considered eligible to foster although there will be restrictions in place.
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LGBT+ Fostering: Can I foster?

There are many misconceptions surrounding who can and cannot foster. Often these myths lead to many people believing that they would not be able to become foster carers when in fact they could! At Compass Fostering, we actively welcome carers from various backgrounds, religions, race, ethnicities, gender and sexual orientations as these do not define your ability to be a great foster parent.

A third of LGBT people think they will face barriers when applying to be a foster carer. We want to demystify any myths or worries that you may have when considering fostering and introduce you to Mark and Nick; a same sex couple who are a shining example of brilliant LGBT foster parents.

Can I foster if I am gay/lesbian/bisexual?

Yes – sexual orientation has no bearing on a person’s ability to be a foster carer. Whatever your sexuality, you just need to be able to offer the warmth, care and stability needed for foster care.

Can I foster if I am transgender?

Yes – your sex and/or gender do not affect your capability or suitability to foster.

Can I foster if I’m in a same-sex relationship?

Yes – couples can apply to foster together as a primary and secondary carer. A same-sex relationship does not act as a defining factor in your capacity to foster.

Mark and Nick’s story

Mark and Nick have been fostering with Compass for over 7 years. They currently have three foster children living with them and have created a loving, supportive family together. ‘When we applied with Compass, I was worried that they wouldn’t want a same sex couple or our house wouldn’t be big enough,’ Nick remembers.

‘Initially it was a fear of what people would think of a gay couple looking after someone else’s child, but we are a strong couple and knew we could address any challenges sent to “test” us and thought to ourselves “if others can do it, why can’t we?”’

‘We are just ordinary people- we had a house with a spare bedroom and that’s all that we needed.’

Luke, (23), one of their foster children is living with them in a ‘staying put’ arrangement. He came to Mark and Nick when he was 16 years old. He was the couple’s first foster child and has been with them ever since.

‘We were worried that Luke would leave soon after he came to live with us, as he was 16, he’d turn 18 and he could leave- but we could see that he needed us.’ Luke had been struggling with his own LGBT identity and Mark and Nick helped him through this period. The family even moved to a new house after Luke’s time in care came to end so he could continue to stay with them.

When in assessment, Nick was asked by their Social Worker why he wanted to foster. He remembered how he struggled as a child with his own identity- and to help a young person through this would be a worthwhile achievement. ‘We believe that everything happens for a reason and I believe that Luke came to us for the right ones. He was just 16 years late to us.’

Within their first year of fostering they were nominated and won FosterTalk’s New Carers of the Year award in 2014, act as ambassadors for other foster carers and commit their time to focus groups with Compass.

Mark and Nick at FosterTalk’s Carer Awards ceremony

C, another of their foster children said that being cared for by LGBT foster carers doesn’t make much of a difference to him in his day to day life. ‘I don’t really think about it that much, they’re just ordinary people that look after you. It feels just like a normal everyday family, except they’re the same gender.’

Both Mark and Nick act as role models and provide support for every young person that steps into their home and they have created an environment where each of the boys feel safe. ‘A typical day in our house is similar to the TV shows where everyone is running around in the morning, yelling “where’s my trainers- have you brushed your teeth- have you got your bag?” It’s just what we call a typical family life. ‘

‘You don’t just open your home when fostering, you open your heart, your mind and a whole new way of life for all involved.’

If you believe that you could provide a safe and caring environment for young people who need it, please get in touch with us to find out more about foster care. Our welcoming team of professionals will be happy to take you through any questions you may have.


Reasons For a Child to be Taken Into Foster Care

There are many different reasons why a child might be taken into foster care. We’ve created this infographic to explain some of the main ones.

Reasons For a Child to be Taken Into Foster Care Infographic


Fostering Assessment Questions to Prepare for

Whether you’re near the end of your assessment process with us, or your fostering journey is just beginning – it’s good to have an idea about the types fostering assessment questions you’ll be asked in the final step of your assessment: your fostering panel interview.

This isn’t a session to grill you, but more a chance for the panel members to get to know you as a person. Whilst this can feel daunting, you will have had lots of discussions with your Assessing Social Worker about the topics that these questions are based around. The group of people sitting on the panel will have read your assessment (your Form F Report) and considered your own personal circumstances and lifestyle, so mostly they are tailored to you as an individual.

That being said, it’s always good to have an idea about the kind of thing you’d like to say, how you’d like to come across to others and being able to put your thoughts into words.
Older Couple - fostering questions for Form F

Take a look through some of these example questions and have a think about how you would answer them – we don’t want to put you in a position where you are surprised by anything we ask you.

Why would you like to be a foster carer?

If you’re at panel, you’ll have been asked this fairly often by now, likely at the beginning when you first showed interest in becoming a foster carer, throughout the process with your Assessing Social Worker and now finalising your assessment. You’ll be well-versed in your answer and that’s great, panel will want to make sure that you’ve thought about your motives especially this far into the process!

What’s your support network like?

We want to make sure that you as a carer will be getting the support you’ll need from those around you, emotionally and physically, like help with the school run or doctors’ appointments. We’ll be there for the expertise, guidance and everything else, but it will be good to know that you’ve got someone you can have a cup of tea with when it gets a little challenging.
fostering assessment questions - Woman offering support

How will your family adapt to fostering?

This could cover one or many things; perhaps you have children who will need to share their space with another child when they may not have had to before. Or maybe your partner works away from home occasionally and you’ve had discussions around how this will fit in with placements. You could be a single applicant who has applied along with the support of a family member who lives outside of your home.

Whatever your circumstance, it’s important to know and acknowledge how fostering with affect those around you, both for your family members as well as the young person you’ll be caring for.

What did you think about your Skills to Foster course?

We believe in empowering our carers to develop a full range of skills and professional expertise – not only to help and support the children they look after, but also to enrich and enhance your own lives.

The three-day Skills to Foster course is an important part of your assessment, we like to offer you the opportunity to mix with other prospective foster carers, learn about the types of care that young people may require and create an environment that you feel comfortable asking questions in.

Panel will be interested in your take away from the course, and as you’ll be required to attend additional training once you become a foster carer it’s good to have an idea about what you find stimulating, too.

If you have any questions, please get in touch, our highly experienced team of specialists would be happy to talk through any concerns with you.


Every Journey Starts With A Single Step

Our experience in fostering

Hi my name is Paul and my family have been fostering for nearly 16 years, initially with the Local Authority and now with Compass Fostering.

Over the years I have tended to foster problematic boys which I have enjoyed. It is about being able to make a difference in their lives and understanding why they behaviour the way they do. Watching them develop and grow as individuals gives you an enormous sense of satisfaction and they still come back to say hello as adults!

Through my knowledge and experience over the years I now work in specialised fostering with Compass and look after young people who need more high level supervision. It’s also about being an advocate for the children you foster, for them to have someone who cares enough to fight their corner.

Every journey starts with a single step. I took mine first step into fostering 15 years ago. I am now a full-time foster carer to a young man with learning difficulties. Looking back my wife and I had talked about fostering and decided we would look into it when our youngest child reached 16 years old. We did not know what to expect but both felt we had a lot to offer a young person or siblings; a good and loving family home life.

There it was an advert saying we are looking for foster parents for two boys, siblings, aged 12 and 8. So I rang the number and enquired. It was the local authority and we were asked to attend a course over 6 weeks of 2 nightly sessions of 4 hour tuition. It gave helped us understand what was expected of foster carers and how to handle situations that might arise. Most of it was common sense but there was the information about happenings that did not occur in most parental lives.

Some things are hard to understand at first like us having a social worker then the children having a different social worker yet we all worked together. Lots of acronyms that everyone talks about. SENCO, EBD, MLD and ADHD and lots more. Section 20 or a full care order did not mean anything to us at first. Then LAC reviews every 6 months and Multi–Professsional meetings.

My advice is keep written records and inform your supervising social worker about everything, and if you’re not sure seek advice first. Don’t panic if something happens outside of your control, just contact out of hours support and inform them of the situation. Most placements are pre-planned and are done in stages, unlike emergency placements where it can be a lot quicker. When most children move in there is a period of time we have called the honeymoon period which both parties try very hard to get along together.

Before you have a placement I would ask what are the rules about pocket money, clothes allowance and savings. Contact with birth family, telephone contact and letterbox contact. Mobile phones and Internet use are hard to monitor and can cause lots of problems. We have always believed in actions carry consequences so without getting into arguments it can be discussed with the children before anything happens.

Routines are a part of every day life and we always try to establish them in a positive manner so it becomes a pleasure instead of a chore. Every school day is similar which helps in becoming acceptable norm and also stops any problems that might arise before we get to school. Activities are pre-planned and enrolment is encouraged. There are lots of small rewards for positive behaviour and any problems discussed when everyone is at base level.

We have been with Compass now for over a year and our young man is progressing and learning lots of every day chores which will help him into some kind of independence. Training is good and offered on a regular basis. There is a myth that independent companies only receive the children who are too hard to place locally, this is definitely not the case and there are not enough carers to take every placement. We can honestly say that we have been supported at every level.

On the day I rang and enquired about the siblings who needed fostering the were was an animal programme on TV and at the very end they were advertising for people to look after a three legged donkey. They received over 3,000 calls. We were fast tracked through our fostering course and went on to foster the 2 brothers who stayed with us until the oldest reached 21. They are now 23 and 27 respectfully and both working full time. After are initial meeting with the boys I asked the social worker how many calls they had received to foster the boys and you probably guessed. Just one.