Why Play Matters: The Power of Playfulness in Fostering

Key Takeaways

• The PACE Model: Playfulness is a core component of the PACE therapeutic approach (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) used at Compass Fostering.
• Play vs. Playfulness: Play is an activity (like games or toys); playfulness is a state of being (like tone, facial expressions and lightness).
• Impact on Trauma: A playful approach reduces anxiety and builds emotional safety for children who have experienced trauma.
• De-escalation in Action: Foster carers use playfulness to diffuse tense situations and turn potential conflict into connection.

At Compass, we use the PACE model (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy) – and playfulness is often where connection begins. It’s where we start, not something extra. 

It’s more than play. It’s playfulness. Play and playfulness are different. 

Play is what you do – games, activities, having fun.

Playfulness shows up in small things:

You can be playful when:

Playfulness turns everyday moments into opportunities for connection. 

For children who have experienced trauma, the world can feel tense, unsafe, and unpredictable. 

Playfulness creates a new environment, one which:  

It allows you to guide behaviour without tough moments becoming battles. 

⭐ One foster parent shared how her teenage foster son refused to get out of bed for school. Rather than escalating, she woke him by singing – badly. 

He still got up. But more importantly, he laughed. 
That’s a shift. From conflict to connection. 

⭐ Another foster parent, when called a “stupid cow”, responded by running around the garden mooing. She could have challenged the language directly. Instead, she used playfulness to diffuse the moment – protecting the relationship and reducing tension. 

⭐ One foster parent told us, “At first, he couldn’t cope with losing a game – he’d shut down or lash out. So, we kept it light, kept it playful, less about the game and more about being silly. Together. Now he can laugh, try again, and even let me win sometimes. That’s not just play – that’s progress.”

These are small moments. 
But this is where change happens. 

You don’t need to be perfect to be a Life Changer. You need to be willing to: 

Because when you respond with playfulness, you’re saying: 

Some adults watch children play. 
Life Changers use playfulness to build connection, even when the going gets tough.

Through playful, connected interactions, children begin to develop: 

For many children in care, these experiences have been missed.  

Your role is to help them catch up. 

Playfulness is powerful. 

At Compass, we know that playfulness isn’t just about fun – it’s about connection, safety and growth. It’s about helping children feel safe enough to learn, to trust, and to thrive. 

If you can bring warmth, playfulness, and connection – even in the hardest moments – you could be a Life Changer.