Retired Nurse to Foster Carer: Karen’s Story of Supporting Asylum-Seeking Children

Karen came to fostering after a 37-year career as a nurse, supporting people with learning disabilities and mental health needs. Reflecting on her early motivations, she says: “When I was younger, I had dreams of wanting to go to Africa and help the poor and starving children… I wanted to make the world a better place”.

Why Retirement Can Be the Start of a New Fostering Journey

When the time came to step away from nursing, Karen did not view retirement as an ending, but as an opportunity to begin something new. “As the time to retire came closer, I started to view it not as retirement, but as time to do something different – this is where my fostering journey began”.

After fostering her first young person, Karen spent time reflecting on where her passions truly lay. When Compass Fostering identified a growing need for carers to support unaccompanied asylum-seeking children, she felt drawn to step forward.

Building Trust with Young People Who Have Experienced Trauma

That decision led to Karen welcoming a teenage boy from Sudan into her home just as the world was entering the COVID-19 pandemic. He arrived frightened, exhausted, and with very little English.

With the country heading into lockdown, Karen focused first on trust, dignity, and emotional safety. Communication was kept simple, routines were flexible, and expectations were gentle. “Initially, it was important to build trust and rapport, so demands on him were minimal, communication was basic, and the daily routine was flexible”.

Supporting Muslim Young People in Foster Care

To support communication, Karen downloaded Google Translate and adapted her home to respect his faith and culture. She ordered a prayer mat and a copy of the Quran, removed pork products from the home, and ensured he had the space and understanding he needed to process his new reality.

Their first Ramadan together became a turning point. “We’d eat together at the iftar, feasting on a range of dishes that I’d created, having consulted Google and my Moroccan son-in-law”.

Some meals were more successful than others, but what mattered most was the connection they created. Mealtimes opened conversations about faith, family traditions, childhood memories, and the trauma that had forced his separation from his loved ones.

Respecting Culture, Faith and Identity in Foster Care

Over time, trust grew. His English improved, his confidence began to return, and he started to imagine a future again. As Karen’s own circumstances changed, she was able to open her home to a second young man from Sudan.

Through fostering unaccompanied asylum-seeking children, she became closely connected to the Sudanese community. With time, trust deepened, not just within her home, but across cultural boundaries. “That real trust came between us,” she reflects.

Remembering Aimen and His Legacy

One young man, Aimen, left a particularly lasting mark on Karen’s life. She remembers him for his warmth, humour, and gentleness. “Aimen had the most amazing smile. He was funny, so warm, and so lovely. He wouldn’t have caused a problem or aggravated anything”.

Tragically, Aimen passed away whilst being an innocent bystander in 2023. The loss was devastating, and one that took the fostering community with great upset and disbelief. Social services supported his funeral arrangements, and it took two and a half years for his gravestone to be placed. Today, a Sudanese flag marks his resting place, a symbol of identity, belonging, and remembrance.

“Aimen shouldn’t have gone,” Karen says quietly. Even in her grief, she reflects on the lasting impact he had on her fostering journey.

Since Aimen, Karen has gone on to foster three more young people, including two young men from Sudan from different tribes. She speaks with insight about the lasting effects of civil and tribal conflict. “When they arrive here, they don’t know who to trust, so they often keep themselves to themselves”.

Karen is aware that many of these young people have had their childhoods taken from them. “They’ve lost parents. Siblings have been killed. Their lives have changed in ways we can’t imagine”.

In response to Aimen’s life and legacy, Compass Fostering introduced a celebration ceremony to recognise young people’s achievements. Each year, carers and supervising social workers nominate young people for awards given in Aimen’s honour. Karen now sits alongside colleagues to help determine the awards annually. “In a way, it’s remembering Aimen and what he stood for”, she says.

What Karen Has Learned from Fostering

As Karen reflects on the years she has spent fostering, she speaks openly about how much she has learned from the young people she has welcomed into her home, particularly about faith.

Through living alongside the young men she has cared for, Karen says she has come to understand Islam in a way she never had before. She describes the Muslim faith as one of peace, strength, and deep beauty. Once she began to understand it, she saw how central faith was to helping the young men endure the trauma and loss they had already experienced in their lives. Karen believes that without their faith, many of them would have struggled to survive what they had been exposed to at such a young age.

She also reflects on the negative connotations often attached to the Muslim faith, and how far removed they are from her own experience. She says, what she has witnessed is quite the opposite: kindness, humility, resilience, and community. For Karen, it is vital that the young people she cares for feel safe and comfortable being who they are, whether that means attending mosque, practising their faith openly, or wearing traditional dress when they wish to pray. She wants them to feel confident walking down the street without fear or judgement, knowing they are respected and accepted.

Despite everything she has experienced, Karen speaks with gratitude. Her home remains a place where faith is respected, culture is honoured, and safety always comes first.