Experience of Foster Care
North England
Am I Too Old to Foster? Why Life Experience Matters
For Audrey, fostering has never been about quick fixes or short-term solutions. It has always been about commitment, patience, and believing in the potential of every child, no matter how long the journey takes.
Audrey’s Long-Term Fostering Story
Audrey began fostering more than 20 years ago, at a time when she felt a gap in her life after her grandchildren moved overseas. What started to give back quickly became a vocation rooted in compassion and lived experience. Over the years, Audrey has cared for children of all ages and backgrounds, each arriving with their own history, trauma and needs. As she puts it, “Every child comes with baggage of some description – and it takes time to repair”.
That belief became especially true when Lisa came to Audrey at just eight years old. By that point, Lisa had already experienced multiple foster placements and was deeply anxious about her future. Audrey could see immediately that beneath the fear was a kind and caring child who simply did not feel safe enough to show it.
My hope was to help turn this scared little girl into the person I could see she might become,” Audrey explains. “She was frightened of her own shadow. She didn’t know right from wrong, not because she was naughty, but because nobody had ever had the time to teach her”.
Building Trust Through Patience and Therapeutic Support
Audrey approached Lisa’s care with calm consistency and an understanding that healing could not be rushed. She avoided confrontation, chose her battles carefully, and focused on building trust day by day. With support from Compass, therapeutic input, and schools that recognised Lisa’s needs, progress came slowly but meaningfully.
There were moments where we had to walk on eggshells,” Audrey reflects. “But with patience, support and time, Lisa began to settle. She learned how to regulate herself. She learned that she was safe”.
Today, Audrey describes Lisa as a thoughtful, confident and determined young woman with ambitions for her future, a transformation recognised not just by Audrey, but by everyone who meets her.
Their relationship has grown into something deeply familial. Audrey describes it as “more like grandma and granddaughter”, built on mutual respect, humour and honest conversations. “We talk things through. We don’t sulk. We laugh together, we cry together – it just works”.
The Importance of “Staying Put” Arrangements in Foster Care
Now in a “Staying Put” arrangement, Audrey and Lisa continue to share a stable home, allowing Lisa to focus on her education, independence and future without the fear of being forced to move on before she is ready. Audrey is clear about why this matters.
You don’t give up on your own children – so why would you do it to a child in your care?” she says. “These are vulnerable young people. They need security and support, not to be moved on because of a system that doesn’t always get it right”.
Why Experience Matters in Foster Care
Audrey is also passionate about challenging assumptions around age in fostering. “Age is just a number,” she says. “Life experience is invaluable. Older carers bring patience, perspective and resilience. You’ve lived life, and that really matters when supporting children through theirs.”
Although Audrey has now stepped back from fostering full-time, she is determined to share her experience so others can learn from it. “It’s a long journey, and not everyone is cut out for it,” she acknowledges. “But if you stick with it, avoid judgement, and truly listen, you can make a lasting difference”.
Audrey’s story is a powerful reminder of what fostering can achieve when experience, compassion and long-term commitment come together, and why every child needs a Life Changer in their corner.
Could you foster?
