A Day in the Life of a Female Carer

Tabatha’s Blog: 3rd December


My name is Tabitha and I have been a foster carer for 6 years.

The young people I have been privileged to meet have often been hugely affected by their life experiences and just want to feel safe. It is fascinating to see what they develop into when you assist them to find their voice! The results may not always be what you like, as they normally need to work through a lot of anger.

Since working for the Compass Group, I have provided a long term home for two sets of siblings, have offered respite for various young people and have supported two young people who were not in main stream schooling to return.

We are proud to be foster carers!

Wednesday 3rd December

Being a foster carer is often a tedious job. I have been criticised this week by a family member for over doing it with G. She has not coped well with the activities we have planned for her. In one weekend we have had contact with her sister and her birthday. I have had to do this for her and anything outside of the normal routine rocks G. I often feel judged in terms of my parenting skills and G is in the spot light due to her emotional and behavioural issues. I have to remind myself that we are undoing years of poor parenting.

When I feel stressed I tend to look at photos from when she first came to us and some of the life experiences we have given her. On the whole she is becoming better equipped to cope with the world and she knows that we will meet her needs. When she is struggling it’s us she turns to for cuddles. When she calls out in the night I am there stroking her cheek and reassuring her.

Our new placement is learning about us and how we tick. She is seeing us under a lot of pressure at the moment as we are having some difficult works in our house and it is upside down.

It’s hard supporting an older and younger child as their needs are so different. I’ve been to watching week at swimming with the youngest and to get contraception advice for the oldest. Having to cook food at 12.30am is not my idea of fun when the household is asleep and H is hungry.

On a brighter note we are looking forward to hiring out our local cinema to see Paddington with the other foster carers in our area. Bring on Xmas as I need a rest!

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