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Week in the life of a male foster carer blog 5th December to 11th December

‘I thought I would try something different this time for my blog.’


Background

T has been with us for about 6 months. He is 10 years old and is diagnosed with ASD though it seems quite mild. Some of his symptoms that are attributed to ASD could also be just down to the fact that T is a 10 year old boy. In general he is a very happy lad but one who has moments of anxiety and has some problems dealing with his emotions. Because of his condition he does get fixated on things so he has a strong passion for cars and certain movies and TV programmes and at the moment he has a sometimes unhealthy obsession with Loom Bands (tiny little elastic bands that the kids make into bracelets).

I am married with three children, one at home, one at University and one living just down the road, and I am the main carer as my wife has a full time job as an Assistant Principal at a Sixth Form College.

 

Friday 5th December – Thursday 11th December

T was away at KIDS from Friday to Monday this week and because the week has been fairly quiet, (obviously there have been some incidents but it’s not really breaking new ground), I thought I would try something different this time for my blog.

So for one week only I give you:

 

7 Conversations with my foster child

 

1) It is a school day and T is having breakfast and I am making his lunch.

Me: “Do you know when the school Christmas dinner is so I can remind your Mum to come?”

T: (In a high pitched agitated voice)I don’t know why should I? You ask them.”

Me: “I just thought it would be good to tell your Mum.”

T: (Still rather agitated) “I don’t know. I only go to school to be educated! You do the other stuff!”

 

2) Again it is a school day and we have just left the house to get his taxi.

Me: “Did you shut the front door?”

T: “I don’t know”

Me: “But it’s important because the dog might get out.”

T: “I don’t care.”

Me: (Turning back towards the house) “But if he escapes he can get out onto the main road.”

T: “I don’t care… Wait where are you going? We’ll miss the taxi.”

 

3) Saturday morning and T comes downstairs after getting dressed.

T: “Do you have any wet wipes?”

Me: “No, sorry, we’ve run out. The shopping comes later today. Why do you want one?”

T: “I want to clean my shoes.”

Me: “Ah well, I don’t think that is the best way to clean them.”

T: (Getting agitated) “But I want a wet wipe.”

Me: “How about an old cloth?”

T: (Shouting now) “I want a wet wipe. I want a wet wipe. I want a wet wipe.”

Me: “I haven’t got any wet wipes.”

T: (Screaming) “I WANT A WET WIPE. GET ME A WET WIPE. NOW!”

 

4) T is waiting to go to Mum’s for a visit. We are early and I am just finishing my breakfast.

T: “Can we go now?”

Me: “I’m just finishing my breakfast. Are you ready to go?”

T: “Yes.”

Me: “Have you brushed your teeth?”

T: “No”

Me: “Do you have your shoes on?”

T: “No… so can we go.”

Me: “Yes, when you’ve done your teeth and got your shoes on.”

T: “I have.”

Me: “But you haven’t brushed your teeth or got your shoes on.”

T: “Yes I have.”

Me: “No. You haven’t. You just told me.”

T: “But can we go now?”

Me: “When you have done your jobs.”

T utters an extremely high pitched scream before sloping off to the bathroom

 

5) It has not been the happiest day in the house.

T: “This is the worst day of my life. This is the worst Christmas ever. I wish I was back at H’s (last foster carer).”

One hour later after a bit of Simpsons.

T: “This is brilliant. I love you.”

 

6) We have been talking about buying Christmas presents.

T: “Christmas is stressful.”

Me: “Why?”

T: “I have to buy presents.”

Me: “But that’s nice, yeah?”

T: “I don’t like it.”

Me: “But people are buying you presents for you.”

T: “I like that.”

Me: “Do you not like giving?”

T: “No, it’s stressful.”

Me: “Oh!

T: “Life is so hard. This day has been such a problem. I wish I’d never got up.”

 

7) We are driving in the car. T loves cars and driving games on the PlayStation.

Me: “I think I’d be quite a good racing driver.”

T: “Why?”

Me: “Because I understand the angles and I think I’m good at cornering.”

T: “I’d be better.”

Me: “Why?”

T: “Because I’m good on the PlayStation.”

Me: “Uhmmm! I’m not so sure.”

T: “Yeah I would.”

Me: “But you can’t drive.”

T: “Yes I can.”

So I pull over to the side of the road, turn off the engine and hand him the keys. He just looks at me

Me:You can drive now.”

T: “But I don’t know how to.”

Me: “Uhmmm!”